Freaking out

26 hours until I depart.

I still have an empty suitcase sitting on my brothers floor, luckily most of my clothes are laid out, but still, who knows if they will all fit?! I might have to sacrifice a pair of heels to fit everything in, but then that just means I can buy some beautiful Italian leather ones once I get to Roma. Everything sounds so nice, sounds like I'm going to have the best summer ever and the experience of a lifetime, and I am, I know that, but with 26 hours left I'm starting to realize how different this is going to be than any other time I've been to Italy.

This time...

1. I'm going with all my documenti (Great thing!)
2. Living with 4 random Italian roommates whom I've never met
3. I have an internship at an office in one of the uglier parts of Italy I've seen, but nonetheless its still Italy I guess!
4. I won't have my parents, my brother, my best friends, a Union professor or Union students to turn to for help.
5. I'll have to sign a contract on Tuesday written in Italian that might say I'm giving my life away to this company and getting paid nothing for it, but I'll never know
6. I have to food shop on my own
7. Commute 1 hour + to get to work
8. Make my own italian friends
9. Figure out how to feed myself and cook for myself healthily without eating a gelato or a plate of pasta for ever meal
10. I'm going to be gone for longer than my term abroad
11. I'm alone.

Alone in Italy. Sounds so awesome. Yet I'm just getting scared. I know its nerves and everything, and that they will subside once I land and get settled in. But they are still there and a lot more present than they were when I left my parents at Logan last march with Samantha and Anna attached to my side.

I already have a list of things I need to do once I get off the plane. I have to get a monthly bus/train/tram pass, find my apartment, then potentially find an alternate apartment to live in for July and August that's closer to work and in trastevere (the place where I long to live).

I'm freaking out.

But ultimately I know that this is going to be the experience of a lifetime. I am going to get a second, longer chance to become fluent in italian. I am going to learn to become even more independent than I already am. And as much as I am going to miss my friends and family back in Wayland, I know that nothing in Wayland is going to be able to compare to what is awaiting for me in italy.

I'm scared, but I'm ready.

Ho paura, ma sono pronto. Penso che la prossima blog sara scrivere in italia. Spero che ci siano foto della mia apartamento e il mio quartiere sul questo pagina.

A dopo!